How To Respond: Sextortion
Recognise, Respond, Support:
Sextortion
What is it?
Sextortion is a form of online blackmail.
It happens when someone threatens to share intimate or sexually explicit images, videos, or content unless the person pays money or sends more sexual material.
This type of harm often starts when someone tricks a person, often a young person, into sharing an image or joining a live video.
Once they have that content, they use it to pressure or blackmail the person.
The demands usually involve sending money or more intimate content.
It can be harmful, and distressing, especially for a young person to be experiencing this type of sexual extortion.
If you, your child or someone you know is being targeted, support is available and it's important to seek help and advice; you are not alone.
How it works
Scammers often create fake profiles on social media and try to convince people to share nude or sexually explicit images or videos. These scams are usually run by organised criminals who target lots of people at once. They may use multiple fake accounts and sometimes even hack into real accounts to get content.
Scammers often pretend to be someone you know, or a friend of a friend, to make you trust them. They might act like they’re starting a relationship online and work hard to gain your confidence. In some cases, they even share explicit content themselves to pressure you into doing the same. The goal is to trick you into sending something they can use to blackmail you later.
Recognising the signs
These may be indicators that something is happening for your young person online:
- Sudden distress, panic or agitation after online messaging or video chats
- Requests for money, or secrecy around their device, who they are messaging or what they need the money for
- Fear of parents finding out about online activity or embarrassment around the messages or content that has been shared through social media or online gaming platforms
- Social isolation, changes in mood or withdrawal from activities that they previously participated in or enjoyed
What to do
- Don’t pay and don’t engage
- Stop all contact with the person and block them on all platforms. Blackmailers often quickly lose interest, and many won’t follow through on their threats when they do not have access to contact
- Report the person, and the accounts
- Report to the online platform where it is occurring (and where content was shared if this applies)
- Save evidence
- Screenshot usernames, messages, payment requests and threats
- Contact Netsafe
- For confidential help and support
- Report to Police on 105 if there are threats to share intimate content
- Increase controls
- Re-set privacy settings to their highest level across online platforms and accounts. This can help keep your information safe and lessens the risk of the scammer being able to contact
- Use the Take it Down tool
- Head to Take it Down to help find and remove any pictures or videos to prevent further public sharing. This tool can also be used for AI images (deepfakes)
- Support your child emotionally
- If your child has been targeted, the most important thing you can do is offer emotional support. Let them know you understand how upsetting this is and validate their feelings. Remind them they’re not alone and it’s never their fault
- Reassure your child
- Let them know that you’re there for them and that you’ll work through this together. Reinforce any positive steps they’ve taken, like telling you about what happened. Staying calm and supportive can help reduce their distress and make it easier to focus on next steps.
Tips to connect and prevent further harm
Depending on the age and stage of your child you might:
- Teach them about not sharing private images or content with another person online, you could also help to explain what could happen with the content. Once content leaves a device, it is difficult to stop it from being shared or saved without their permission or consent
- Explain how people online can pretend to be someone else
- Reinforce that they can always come to you if something feels wrong or embarrassing and that they are not alone with what they are experiencing
- Talk about trust and manipulation tactics online. It may help to explain how pressure can be disguised as flirting
- Help them identify safe ways to end communication if it becomes inappropriate or unsafe, and how and where to seek support, like contacting Netsafe or the NZ Police
Find out more
Visit the Netsafe website to learn more about online scams, how to spot them and the latest scam trends, or to contact the Helpline for advice and support.
