How To Respond: Cyberbullying
Recognise, Respond, Support:
Cyberbullying
What is it?
Cyberbullying happens when a person is harassed, intimidated, or targeted online through social media, gaming chats, group messages, or photo sharing.
It can be one-off or ongoing and can cause real distress even if it starts as “just a joke.”
It may involve spreading rumours, sharing private photos, excluding someone, sending hurtful messages or impersonation.
The impacts can be serious and emotionally distressing, affecting a person’s sense of self, self-worth and safety.
This could manifest by changes in sleep, concentration, friendships, and confidence.
If you, your child or someone you know has been affected by cyberbullying, support is available and it's important to seek help and advice; you are not alone.
What should I do if I find out my child has been bullying someone online?
If you discover that your child has been bullying someone online, try to stay calm and approach the situation with curiosity rather than anger.
Take time to talk with your child about what happened, who may have been affected, and why the behaviour may have caused harm.
Help them understand the importance of kindness and respect in online spaces, and work together to think about how they can make things right, such as apologising, removing harmful content, or repairing relationships where possible.
Supporting your child to learn from the experience can help them develop empathy and make better choices online in the future.
Recognising the signs
These may be indicators that something is happening for your young person online, or they may be affected by cyberbullying:
- Your child avoids devices or certain apps they used to enjoy
- Sudden changes in mood, appetite or sleep
- They seem nervous when notifications appear
- You notice that your child is distant, upset, or self-isolating
- You notice deleted accounts, new profiles, or missing photos/posts
What to do
- Stay calm and listen
- Let them tell you what’s happening without interrupting or reacting
- Evaluate the situation
- Understand the extent of the bullying. Is it a few offhand remarks or something more serious?
- Understand how your child is affected
- Let your child know it’s okay to be upset about the situation
- Ask them what support they’d like from you
- Don’t assume they want to jump to solutions straight away – they may just need you to listen and be there. Work on a support plan together.
- Don't take away the technology
- Think carefully about whether to remove your child’s devices, as this can alienate them from their most important support network – their peers.
- Save the evidence
- Screenshot or record relevant messages, usernames, and dates
- Block and report
- Show them how to use platform tools to mute, report or block users and their messages
- Check privacy settings
- Show them how to set their online accounts to private
- Reach out for help
- Contact the school if peers are involved
- Focus on wellbeing
- Keep routines, encourage downtime, and involve trusted adults, counsellors or support services as required
- Report to Netsafe
- Contact Netsafe for immediate advice and support.
Tips to connect and prevent further harm
Depending on the age and stage of your child you might:
- Check in regularly with some simple conversation starters
- “Has anyone said anything online that made you feel uncomfortable?”
- “What has been happening online, lately?”
- “What is being talked about in the group?”
- “Who do you usually chat with online?”
- Talk about what respectful communication looks like
- Help them practise responding:
- “What could you do if that happened to you?”
- “Do you know how to block or report someone if you need to?”
- “What do you think makes an online space feel safe or unsafe?
- Reassure them that coming to you won’t mean losing device privileges
- Frame it as a partnership:
- “You don’t deserve to be treated like that. Let’s figure out next steps together”
- Respect their need for privacy while offering support, guidance and a safe space
- Encourage peer support - help them identify safe friends, adults and support services they can lean on
- Discuss empathy and accountability – like what to do if they see others being targeted, excluded or impersonated online
Find out more
Visit the Netsafe website to learn more about cyberbullying and to contact the Helpline for advice and support.
