What to do if your child is being bullied online

Cyberbullying can feel intense in the moment, especially when friendships and social groups are involved. But it is something that can be worked through.

What to do right now

If something is happening to your child online it's important to focus on small, practical steps.

1. Stay calm and listen

Start by giving your child space to talk. Let them explain what’s been happening and avoid interrupting or reacting too quickly. Your role in the moment of disclosure is to focus on connection and understanding before solving the issue.

You might say

• “Do you want to show me what’s been happening?”
• “That shouldn’t be happening, how has it been affecting you?”
• “Let’s take a look at this together and figure out what to do”
• “You don’t have to deal with this on your own”
• “We can take this one step at a time”

2. Pause before responding

It can be tempting to reply immediately, or jump to 'solution mode' and try to resolve it immediately.

In most cases, it’s better to:

• stay curious and ask your young person what support they need from you in the moment
• take a moment to think through the options and next steps together
• avoid escalating the situation by jumping into action, or responding to messages or comments online

3. Save what’s happening

Before anything is deleted or blocked, it’s important to keep a record. Saving digital evidence can be an important part of reporting harm and resolving the issue, but it's important to understand how to record digital evidence safely.

In most cases, you can

• take screenshots of messages or posts
• record the full URL of any websites hosting harmful messages or content
• save usernames and profiles
• note dates and times

4. Use tools in the app

Most online platforms have tools you can use to respond quickly to messages or posts that are causing harm or distress.

You can:

• block or mute accounts
• report content or users
• adjust privacy settings

5. Decide what to do next

Not every situation needs the same response.

Together, you can consider:

• Is this a one-off or ongoing?
• Is it affecting your child’s wellbeing?
• Are other people involved?

When to get extra support

If you need additional support, you can also make a report to Netsafe. We can help you understand your options, including whether the situation may be covered under the Harmful Digital Communications Act. Where appropriate, Netsafe can work with those involved to help resolve the issue and reduce harm.

You don’t have to manage this on your own.

It’s a good idea to seek support if:

• the behaviour is ongoing or escalating
• your child feels distressed or unsafe
• there are threats or intimidation
• you’re unsure what to do next

Alongside practical steps, your child may need emotional support. You can help by checking in regularly, reminding them they’re not alone, helping them stay connected to supportive friends and encouraging breaks from online spaces if needed.

Try to avoid removing access to devices straight away, as this can sometimes feel like a punishment and stop them from sharing in future. Young people often rely on their access to devices for peer support and connection with friends, and removing this access may amplify the harm by removing their support network.

Dealing with cyberbullying can feel overwhelming, especially when it involves your child’s friendships and everyday life.

There’s no perfect way to handle it, but by staying calm, taking practical steps, and working through it together, you’re already doing something really important.

Your support helps your child feel safer, more confident, and less alone. Over time, these experiences, while difficult, can also help them build the resilience and skills they need to navigate challenges both online and offline.