Talking About Incitement to Self-Harm or Suicide

Young people may come across content online that doesn’t support their wellbeing. This guide offers practical ways to talk about it, helping your child recognise what feels safe, understand their reactions, and know they can reach out for support.

You don’t need to be an expert in mental health or online content to support your child. Open, supportive conversations can help them build the skills to recognise what’s helpful, step away from what’s not, and stay connected to people who care.

What to know

Young people may come across a wide range of content online, including content that relates to mental health, emotions, and difficult experiences.

Most online spaces are positive or neutral, but some content may not support a young person’s wellbeing.

Incitement to self-harm or suicide is content that encourages harmful behaviours (or presents them as normal or acceptable), normalises unsafe coping strategies, discourages seeking help, or that reinforces feelings of hopelessness.

Young people might encounter this through social media feeds or recommendations, in online communities or forums or while searching for answers or support. It can show up in posts, videos, messages, online communities or conversations and can lead to repeated exposure to harmful ideas. It may not always be obvious, and can sometimes be mixed with content that feels relatable or supportive.

Not all content about mental health is harmful and many spaces are supportive and focus on recovery or getting help. The key difference is whether the content encourages support and help-seeking or keeps someone feeling stuck, isolated, or unsafe.

As a parent or caregiver, it’s important not to assume that your child will recognise harmful content straight away or that they will tell you if something is affecting them. What helps most is supporting your child to build skills to notice how content makes them feel, recognise when something isn’t helpful and encouraging them step away from the content and reach out to a trusted adult.

Top tips for talking about it

Start with care and openness

This can feel like a difficult topic to bring up but gentle, open conversations help your child feel safe to talk about things that might be confusing or concerning. You don’t need to go into detail; simply opening the door to the conversation matters.

You might say:

“Sometimes people come across things online that aren’t very safe or supportive.”
“Have you ever seen anything online that made you feel uncomfortable or worried?”
“What do people your age do when they see something like that?”

A gentle, open approach helps your child feel safe talking about sensitive or concerning content.

Help them understand what unsafe or harmful content can look like

Not everything online supports young people’s wellbeing, even if it seems relatable or understanding at first. Some content may encourage harmful behaviours, normalise unsafe coping strategies or reinforce negative or hopeless thinking and young people may not always recognise this straight away.

You might say:

“Some content can feel relatable, but not actually be helpful.”
“How can you tell if something online isn’t good for your wellbeing?”
“What might make something feel unsafe or unhelpful?”

Recognising the difference between supportive and harmful content helps young people make safer choices.

Talk about how content can affect feelings

Online content doesn’t just inform; it can shape how young people feel. Some content can intensify difficult emotions, make things feel overwhelming or keep people stuck in negative thinking. Helping your child notice this builds emotional awareness and resilience.

You might say:

“How do you feel after spending time online?”
“Are there things that leave you feeling better or worse?”
“What helps you notice when something is affecting your mood?”

Understanding how content affects emotions helps young people protect their mental wellbeing.

Encourage them to trust their instincts and step away

Young people often sense when something doesn’t feel right even if they can’t explain why. Let them know it’s okay to scroll past, leave a space or group or take a break.

You might say:

“If something feels off, it’s okay to step away.”
“You don’t have to stay in spaces that don’t feel good.”
“What would help you take a break if you needed to?”

Trusting their instincts gives young people permission to step away from harmful content.

Talk about belonging and influence

Some harmful spaces can draw young people in by offering a sense of belonging, understanding or shared experiences, or validation of how they’re feeling. While connection is important, not all spaces are supportive in a healthy way.

You might say:

“Why do you think people join certain online communities?”
“What makes a space feel supportive, or not?”
“How can you tell if something is helping, or making things harder?”

Understanding influence and belonging helps young people make safer choices about the spaces they engage in.

Build their confidence to reach out for support

Young people don’t always ask for help especially if they’re unsure how to explain what they’ve seen or how they’re feeling. Let them know they can talk to you, another trusted adult or someone they feel comfortable with.

You might say:

“You can always talk to me, or another adult you trust, if something doesn’t feel right.”
“You don’t have to figure things out on your own.”
“There’s always someone who can help.”

Knowing who to turn to helps young people feel supported and less alone.

Let them know they can come to you, no matter what

If your child is struggling or has seen something concerning, they may feel unsure how to talk about it. Reassure them that they won’t be judged or dismissed.

You might say:

“You can always talk to me about how you’re feeling.”
“You won’t be in trouble for being honest.”
“I’m here to listen, not judge.”

A safe, supportive relationship makes it easier for your child to ask for help when it matters.

Bonus Conversation Starters

These questions don’t need to be asked all at once. One small conversation at a time can help build trust and emotional awareness over time.

“Have you ever seen content online that didn’t feel very positive or supportive?”
“How can you tell if something online is helpful or not?”
“What makes an online space feel safe or unsafe?”
“What would you do if something you saw started affecting your mood?”
“Who could you talk to if you were feeling overwhelmed?”
“Do people your age talk about mental health online in helpful ways?”
“What helps you feel supported online?”
“What advice would you give a friend in that situation?”
“What helps you take a break when things feel like too much?”
“Who are the people you trust to talk to?"

If you're concerned...

If your child ever feels uncomfortable, affected, or unsure about something they’ve seen online, the most important thing is that they feel able to talk about it.

Encourage them to:

pause and step back
take a break from the content
check in with how they’re feeling
talk to someone they trust or reach out to Netsafe

You might say:

“If something online affects how you’re feeling, it’s okay to step away.”
“You don’t have to handle things like that on your own.”
“I’m here, or we can talk to someone you trust together.”

Keeping this simple and supportive helps your child feel less alone and more in control.

You don’t need to have all the answers about online content or mental health. Staying calm, connected, and open helps your child build the confidence to recognise what supports their wellbeing, and to reach out when they need support.