How To Respond: Distressing or Inappropriate Content

Recognise, Respond, Support:

Distressing or inappropriate content

What is it?

Children can sometimes come across violent, sexual, or otherwise upsetting material online - intentionally or by accident. This can happen through social media feeds, search results, games, or when friends share links or memes.

Distressing content might include graphic violence, adult material, self-harm, hate speech, animal cruelty or scary imagery.

Exposure to this kind of content can cause confusion, fear, or anxiety, especially for younger tamariki who may not yet understand what they’ve seen or know how to make sense of it.

If you, your child or someone you know has encountered such material, support is available and it's important to seek help and advice; you are not alone.

Objectionable content

In New Zealand, the Classification Office – Te Mana Whakaatu - is the independent authority that decides whether material crosses a legal line and is considered ‘objectionable content’, which is illegal to view, create, store, or distribute because it promotes or supports serious harm. This applies to real-world, animated, cartoon, or AI-videos, photos, text or livestream content.

Under the law, objectionable content includes (but is not limited to) material that involves or depicts sexual exploitation of children or young people, sexual violence, suicide or self-harm, extreme violence, terrorism or violent extremism.

The Department of Internal Affairs manages reports of offensive or illegal content. Objectionable materials is illegal for anyone to possess or look at and should be reported to the DIA here.

Recognising the signs

These may be indicators that something is happening for your young person online, or they have seen something upsetting:

Your child seems unusually upset, quiet, or afraid after being online
They avoid certain apps, games or videos they previously enjoyed
Nightmares or sudden fears about safety
Your child may become withdrawn, anxious, or self-isolating
Curiosity or repeated questions about shocking or disturbing topics

What to do

Listen and reassure
- Let them know that they’ve done the right thing by speaking to you
Ask gentle questions
- Find out what they saw, where, and how they came across it or you may have sent it to them
Remove, report or block the content
- Most platforms have in-app reporting functions for disturbing or violent content
Check devices
- Make sure there are no copies of content saved on a device if it could be considered objectionable
Check settings
- Re-visit the parental controls or filters you have in place
Support your child's wellbeing and offer comfort and perspective
- If they remain anxious, talk to their school counsellor, GP or a support service
Report to Netsafe
- Contact Netsafe for advice and support if you’re unsure what to do, or need support to remove or block the content
- If reporting to Netsafe, and the content could be considered objectionable, retain the URL of the site and not the content
- Learn more about collecting digital evidence safely

Tips to connect and prevent further harm

Depending on the age and stage of your child you might:

Reassure them that it wasn’t their fault to see it. Keep calm and acknowledge their feelings
- “Sometimes people post or share that aren’t OK to see. It’s not your fault and you are not alone. You did the right thing by telling me”
Explore safe ways to report or block content - practise this together
Talk about why distressing content is often shared for clicks, shock value, or misinformation
Discuss emotional responses openly: “How did that make you feel?”
Help them develop coping strategies like taking breaks, filtering their social feed, muting chats and message, privatising their online accounts or talking to someone they trust for support
Encourage them to come to you again if they ever see something upsetting, or that makes them feel uncomfortable, no matter how small
Reinforce balance by having time offline, with positive, creative play and activity

Find out more

Visit the Netsafe website to learn more about inappropriate, distressing and objectionable material and how to report it, as well as how to contact the Helpline for advice and support.