Learn About Parental Controls
Parental and user controls can help shape how tamariki use the internet - what they see, how long they spend online, who they talk to, and what they share. Let's learn about how to use parental controls to support safety and wellbeing online.
In a nutshell
Parental and user controls are tools built into devices, apps, games and home networks that help guide how tamariki use technology. They can limit who your child talks to, what content they see, how long they spend online, and what information is shared.
These tools already exist on most devices and apps - you usually don’t need special software.
You’ll find them on:
- Phones & tablets
- Game consoles (PlayStation, Xbox, Nintendo)
- Apps like YouTube, TikTok, Roblox, Netflix
- Smart TVs & modems
- Apple Screen Time & Google Family Link
Think of controls as digital training wheels - keeping your child steady while they learn balance and judgment, then easing off slowly as they grow. These tools support safer, more balanced online experiences while tamariki build skills and confidence.
Controls work best when paired with trust, communication and ongoing kōrero. Technology can guide safer online experiences, but connection, trust and communication do the heavy lifting from the outset and long into the future.
Parental controls mostly apply only at home. School devices, public Wi-Fi and mobile data may bypass your settings - so device and in-app settings matter, as does teaching safe habits no matter how or where they connect.
5-minute whānau safety check
Parental controls are most helpful when you:
- Set them together with your tamariki
- Use them as part of ongoing conversations
- Treat them as flexible, adjusting settings as your child grows
- See them as training wheels, not permanent solutions
Take a first step together as a whānau:
- Explore your child’s device settings together
- Explain why you’re looking at parental controls and settings - not just what you’re changing
- Add app-level or modem-level controls if needed
What to expect
Parental and user controls can help your whānau to:
- Filter and moderate content
- Manage screen use and focus
- Limit communication and sharing
- Monitor and supervise activity
- Protect privacy and data
- Manage spending and advertising
Monitoring tools can show how devices are used, what apps are active, and where attention is going.
Transparency builds trust and sitting together to review screen use ensures it’s out in the open, and helps your tamariki to learn about their own screen use and balance.
What's the up-side?
How can parental controls support safer experiences online?
Safety & privacy
Controls can reduce accidental exposure to upsetting content, limit unwanted contact, and protect personal information
Healthy habits
Settings like screen-time limits or downtime can help young people take breaks, get enough sleep and balance online and offline life
Guided independence
Controls help younger children explore safely while giving older rangatahi room to grow their judgment and self-management
Reduced pressure
Limiting notifications or hiding like counts can make online spaces feel calmer and more manageable
Clear expectations
Having settings and agreements in place means fewer arguments and more shared understanding at home
Young people often say that controls work best when introduced with honesty, collaboration and clear intent - not punishment.
What's the flip-side?
Parental controls are helpful, but they're not perfect. Relying on controls alone creates a false sense of security and whilst they can reduce risk, they can't replace critical thinking or empathy.
Some common challenges with parental controls include:
Over-blocking
Filters may block harmless content or school resources, and setting different levels of controls for different members of the whānau can become more challenging
Workarounds
Older rangatahi are resourceful - they can often find ways around the controls when they become more experience online
Trust erosion
Monitoring devices, apps and messages without kōrero can damage trust and relationships
Constant changes
Settings and menus move often and controls need revisiting every few months
Quick Re-Cap
Start with settings
Explore privacy, content filters, chat restrictions and downloads together
Use age-appropriate tools
Younger tamariki may need more guidance; teens benefit from collaborative boundaries
Involve them in decisions
Agree on limits for bedtime, homework, and app use
- Review regularly
- Settings need updates as children grow and apps change
- Focus on wellbeing, not punishment
- Use controls to support balance, not as consequences when things go wrong
- Teach the skills behind the settings
- Explain why you’re using controls — safety, balance, privacy, kindness
- Know where to go for help
- If something goes wrong, reassure them they can always come to you, and you can come to Netsafe
Top Tips
Top Tips
Click on each block to learn more about how you can support your whānau to be safer online by using parental controls.
Ask what they think controls are for and when they might be useful
- "What do think about introducing some new settings to help us stay safer online?"
- “What settings help you feel safe or focused?”
- "What controls might help us to manage our screentime as a family?"
Find small opportunities to check in on safety settings and talk about why they matter.
Share your goals (for example safety, wellbeing and balance) and reiterate that it’s not about control or surveillance, but supporting everyone to stay safe and well online.
Review device, app and privacy settings side-by-side, once a term to check for updates.
Let your child help choose some of the limits and settings through discussion and understanding - this can greatly increase their buy-in to sticking with the settings and boundaries.
Treat settings as adjustable tools, not fixed rules. Explain how settings can loosen as digital skills develop and critical thinking grows.
- Ease controls over time as confidence grows
- Celebrate when they use user-controls independently
Need help right now?
If you would like any advice or support about keeping your whānau safe online Netsafe can help.
Contact the helpline for free, confidential and non-judgemental advice and support.
