Learn About Online Communities
Online communities are places where people gather to talk about shared interests, from gaming clans to hobbyist communities or local support groups. Being part of a community can help rangatahi connect, learn and feel belonging, however there are also some risks to be aware of. Read on to learn more.
In a nutshell
Online communities are web spaces where people share messages, posts or discussions around topics, like art, sport, books, gaming, pets or study.
Examples include forums (Reddit-style), Facebook groups, Discord servers, message boards, or interest-based web communities.
Tamariki and rangatahi join because they want to connect with people who share their interests, ask questions of each other, share tips, follow discussions, or just “hang out” online.
Types of online communities (quick guide)
- Forums/message boards: posts and threads you read and reply to (often slower-paced)
- Groups: membership-based spaces (public, private, invite-only), often centred on a topic or local community
- Servers: live communities with channels (text + sometimes voice/video messaging), often always “on”
- In-game communities: clans/guilds and game servers where group dynamics sit alongside play
Some online communities are also run by young people, for example as an owner/admin/mod(erator) in a group or server.
5-minute whānau safety check
Start with the basics. You don’t need to do everything at once.
Core check (for any community)
- We’ve talked with our child about which communities they’re part of
- We’ve reviewed the group rules or guidelines together
- We’ve checked there are active moderators keeping conversations on track with the group rules
- My child knows they can leave and come to me if something doesn’t feel right
- We’ve practised how to report posts or people (where available)
If it’s a server, live chat, or voice space (add these)
- We know who can message them privately (and how to limit this if needed)
- We’ve talked about moving off-platform (e.g., “add me on Snapchat/WhatsApp”) and when to pause and check in
- We’ve practised muting channels/threads so the loudest content doesn’t dominate
If your child hosts or moderates a group/server (add these)
- We’re clear what their role is (owner/admin/mod) and what they can control
- We’ve agreed what “crosses the line” in their space and when to get an adult involved
- They know it’s OK to step back from moderating if it feels too big or unsafe
If your child hosts or moderates a group/server (important NZ note)
Moderation sits within New Zealand law including the Harmful Digital Communications Act 2015 (HDCA), which aims to prevent serious emotional harm caused by digital communications.
If your child can edit or remove posts, they may be treated as an online content host under the HDCA, meaning there can be responsibilities around harmful content shared in that space.
If your child is under 18 and helping manage a space, it’s especially important they have a trusted adult they can turn to if things feel too big or unsafe to handle on their own.
What to expect
When your child uses online communities, you might notice:
- frequent logins, notifications, or posts responding to threads
- membership in multiple communities across different interests
- bursts of messages, lots of channels, and faster “live” back-and-forth when messaging in servers
- if voice chat is involved there may be longer sessions and more pressure to stay connected in real time
- some young people mostly read/lurk at first before posting, that’s common
If your child mentions arguments, offensive comments, or someone pushing them aggressively, or if they seem reluctant to show you what’s happening, those are cues to talk together.
If they seem stressed about keeping up or constantly checking notifications, that’s also a good moment to talk about boundaries and breaks.
What's the up-side?
How can online communities support and uplift your child?
Connection through shared interests
Communities bring together people who love the same things, for example skateboarding, coding, anime, music - whatever your child’s passion.
Learning and peer support
Young people can ask questions, get feedback, share ideas, or learn from others who are more experienced.
A sense of identity
In communities, rangatahi may express parts of themselves, such as their interests, values, humour in a space of like-minded peers online, that they may not feel comfortable sharing in person.
Voice and contribution
They may write posts, answer questions, share resources, or contribute ideas, which can build confidence and influence.
Being part of a group where everyone loves the same game makes me feel I belong.
Youth Participant
No Single Online Experience – Youth Roadshow Report 2025
What's the flip-side?
Online communities can be great for learning and connection — but like any group, they can come with challenges.
Ineffective moderation
Some spaces have strong rules and active moderation, but some don’t and that changes what shows up and what’s tolerated.
Different opinions and unkind comments
Disagreements happen, and sometimes people forget there’s a real person on the other side of the screen.
Misinformation and unreliable advice
Not everything in forums is accurate. Some “tips” are opinion dressed up as fact.
Sharing too much personal information
It’s easy to overshare without realising, for example mentioning a school, suburb, sports team, routines, or posting identifiable photos.
Unwanted contact or uncomfortable attention
Sometimes someone reaches out privately or makes comments that feel too personal or inappropriate.
Pressure to join in or fit in
Some spaces make young people feel they have to agree, prove themselves, or join in activities they’re unsure about.
Safety Check
Use the settings
- Adjust privacy settings so profiles and activity are visible only to members (where possible)
- Turn off notifications for less important threads, or limit how often alerts happen
- In servers, check who can DM your child and how muting channels/keywords works (where available)
- Familiarise yourselves with reporting tools for harmful content or users
Protect privacy
Use alias names/handles instead of real names and review their profile together, removing anything that could identify them
Check the moderation quality
Look at the group rules together and scan a few recent posts to see whether moderators seem active and the tone stays respectful
Think critically
Pick one claim you see posted in a thread and cross-check it together using trusted sources like NZ news, .govt.nz, or educational sites
Know the safety tools
Help them practise muting, blocking, or reporting, and agree they’ll tell you if anything feels off
Make a plan for stepping out
Practise a simple line: “That’s not for me,” or “I’ll think about that" and let your child know that it’s OK to leave a group that doesn’t feel welcoming or safe.
Top Tips
Click on each block to learn more about how you can support your whānau to have safer online friendships.
Ask what they enjoy about connecting online, and let them see that you’re listening
- “Which communities do you enjoy?”
- “What kinds of posts do you reply to?”
- “Is this mostly reading and posting or chatting live?”
Bring it up in small moments, like dinner time or driving:
- “I saw a debate online, does that happen in your groups?”
- “Which post got a lot of replies?”
- “If you’re in a server, which channels feel good and which feel a bit much?”
Look at rules, posts, or channels together. Join a public forum with them (if appropriate) and model how you check tone, trust, and boundaries.
Agree on what makes a community feel safe and welcoming.
Review memberships occasionally, and celebrate good judgement when they leave a space that wasn’t uplifting.
Need help right now?
If you would like any advice or support about keeping your whānau safe online Netsafe can help.
Contact the helpline for free, confidential and non-judgemental advice and support.
