Discord Safety 101

Help get your child set up safely with a new platform or app, with this quick reference guide.

Rated 13+

What is it?

Discord is a social app where people chat in groups, send messages, and talk on voice or video calls. It’s often used by young people to hang out with friends or connect over shared interests.

It is popular with young people especially gamers and members of online communities as it means they can live chat while gaming, connect with people who have like-minded interests or hang out in a voice chat after school.

Users join 'servers' based on a common interest (like a server for a particular game) and inside the servers are 'channels' (like chat rooms).

Discord servers are customisable community hubs with multiple channels, roles, and moderation for large groups or topics, while group chats (Group DMs) are simple, private chats for small friend groups (up to 10 people initially, expanded to 25 recently) with fewer features, offering a basic chat/voice experience without server complexity.

Why it's popular

Discord enables young people to:

Talk with friends while gaming
Join communities based on interests (e.g. Minecraft, anime)
Voice chat with friends that just feels like “hanging out” after school
Share memes, videos, and links easily

What to watch out for

Contact with strangers

Many servers include people your child doesn’t know in person. Strangers could contact your child directly via a private message, which increases the risk of online harms such as grooming or sextortion

Talk to your young person about who they’re talking to and who they know in person versus online only. Talk about what your child can do if someone they don't know wants to start a private conversation

Inappropriate content

Some servers include harmful or adult content, and unmoderated servers may expose users to adult language or topics

Encourage your child to engage in private or smaller servers, avoiding large and public communities

Voice chat

Conversations happen live and aren’t visible, and can be used to pressure or harass others

Agree on boundaries and talk about what’s okay to share with others, and who to talk to if something feels off

Time use

It can be easy to spend long periods of time online, or can feel hard to switch off

Set some agreed expectations together about time spent online, when and where to have device-free time, and how to detach from the chat even when it feels hard

5 minute safety settings

Sit together and work through settings to put some basic protections in place, and talk about why they're important.

Go to User Settings → Privacy & Safety
Turn OFF “Allow direct messages from server members”

This stops people from messaging your child through shared servers

Go to Privacy & Safety
Select “Keep Me Safe”

This filters or blurs explicit images and messages

Go to Privacy & Safety → Friend Requests
Choose:
- Friends of Friends, or
- No one

This reduces contact from unknown people

In Privacy & Safety
Enable DM spam filter

This means that messages from non-friends are filtered

Depending on the age and stage of your child.

Go to User Settings → Family Center
Child generates a QR code
Parent scans it using their own Discord account

This lets you see:

Who your child adds as friends
What servers they join
Who they interact with (but you won't see message content)

What else can help?

Support your child to navigate Discord safely...

Encourage them to join trusted, moderated servers and empower them to leave chats, channels or servers that feel off, cross the line or turn toxic
Learn server rules together and check in on the regularly
Explore report tools together and learn how to record a Discord User ID and Message ID in case you ever need to report something
Prioritise quality friendships and connections over being part of big servers
Check in on energy levels after long voice chats and help support online balance
Teach your tamaiti to choose spaces that feel respectful and leave ones that don’t