Looksmaxxing: Growing up in a world of constant comparison

Social media doesn’t just show what people look like, it rewards certain looks with likes and visibility, offers constant comparison and provides endless advice on how to “improve”.

“Looksmaxxing” is one way this shows up. Online, it can range from skincare routines and fitness tips to more extreme or rigid ideas about how someone should look to be considered attractive or successful.

For young people, this kind of content can feel compelling. It offers a sense of control and agency, from content that says “you can improve this” which can feel reassuring. The validation from social media, via likes, comments and attention can reinforce appearance being something that really matters - and following trends can feel like a way to fit in or keep up - providing a sense of belonging. So, it's clear to see that this isn't simply about vanity, but may be about identity, confidence and social positioning.

Where it gets tricky

Not all appearance-focussed content is harmful and many young people engage with it in a balance way. But for some young people, it can feel less like a choice and more like an expectation and what can start as interest can sometimes shift into pressure.

Over time, the boundaries can shift and it's not always obvious to spot. Your support will be important if:

• self-worth becomes closely tied to appearance
• comparison becomes constant
• “improvement” starts to feel like pressure
• content becomes more extreme or unrealistic

How might this look in real-life?

You might notice:

• more time spent editing photos or re-taking images
• increased focus on specific features or “flaws”
• comments like “I need to fix this” or “I don’t look like them”
• mood dips after being online

Sometimes it’s subtle, and less about what’s said, and more about how your child is feeling.

How to respond

What really helps is to stay alongside your child and staying curious. Regular, small check-ins about life online can create natural opportunities for talking about wellbeing and building awareness.

You might ask:

• “What kind of stuff is showing up on your feed at the moment?”
• “Do you think that’s realistic, or do you think there’s editing or filters involved?”
• “What do you think makes someone interesting or likeable beyond how they look?”
• “How do you usually feel after spending time on that app?”

Helping young people develop a critical eye, and reminding them that what they see online is only part of the picture, can go a long way in reducing the pressure to measure up. Keep bringing the conversation back to strengths, interests, relationships, and values and role-model what it looks like to have a balanced view about bodies, appearance and comparison.

For young people, this isn’t just about how they look, it’s about how they’re seen. Helping them build confidence in who they are, rather than how they appear, is a longer-term process, but small, steady conversations can make a real difference. Knowing they can talk to a trusted adult without judgement or shame is key, and staying curious and informed about how life online is shaping your child’s world is often the most powerful first step.

Check out the 'Talking about body image and online content' guide for some suggestions on how to approach the topic calmly and confidently.